Technology can complicate everything

Welcome to heartache in the 21st century.

The Katie and I have broken up, and although we’re still trying to remain friends in real life, our cyber selves have said goodbye – we dropped each other as friends on myspace.com and facebook.com.

It hurt more than I thought it would.

Sure, some of it hurt because I have the emotions of a 12-year-old girl (though without the unreasonable obsession with dolphins). A bigger part, though, came from the severing of a crucial part of our relationship.

Before I knew The Katie, I knew of Katie, a friend-of-a-friend-type thing and a familiar face at Bee-Dubs and the Kentucky Theater. I saw her one summer evening at a friend’s rock show, and when I stumbled across her myspace profile, it all kind of came together.

Our communication, at first, was limited to a series of myspace messages, many of which have been saved. Some of my better writing came in those days as I attempted to win over her affections, and I was always thrilled with her sweet, thoughtful messages and responses.

Soon, we began the slow ascent up each other’s “Top Friends” list, and I won’t try to act cool by denying my excitement when I finally became perched atop the list.

And now, rather than begin the torturous descent back down, we just opted to drop each other entirely, thus, we hoped, avoiding the public drama that would come with it.

We just don’t want to put ourselves in the position of having to follow the other’s every move, particularly when the time comes that a Person of the Opposite Sex gets involved. It’s just too painful and, truth be told, too stalkerish.

(Tangent: I’m a little angry at Tom, founder of myspace. When I signed up, he was quick to be the first friend on my list, but where is now that I need him?)

It’s the end of an era – and incredibly fun era that could possibly inspire poems about dolphins – and one that many others find themselves facing, too. In this day of texting and instant messaging and blogging and all other means of up-to-the-second communication, it’s hard to find ways to separate yourself from an ex, at least in private.

Facebook, for example, almost seems to delight in providing constant updates on your personal situations, because nothing brightens a person’s day like seeing a friend has just become single.

Not just friends, either, in many cases, as your personal life can now be open to anyone with a computer and Internet connection. What should be private has now become anything but, making my heart feel as exposed as Paris Hilton in nightvision (geez, that joke is old. What’s next? Some “timely” remarks about the Hoover administration? Perhaps some jabs at the War of 1812?).

So, world, here I am, crying myspace to sleep at night and burying my tearstained facebook in my pillow. I’m sad but coping, doing so in the only way I know how – by writing about it on my blog.

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6 thoughts on “Technology can complicate everything

  1. I’m sorry to hear you’re a Singleton again. Although if you listen carefully you can hear the collective cheers of female Singletons the world over.

    The last boy dumped me by email. So I retaliated by deleting him completely from my friends. I felt like such a grown-up 12-year-old.

    The one before that was nice enough to ever-shift me down his Top Friends until I dropped off the cliff.

    Neither was fun.

  2. Well, that fucking blows man. I’m sorry. But there’s one thing i don’t want you to do. I don’t want you to sit in your house/apartment/condo/really anything that sits above your head, and sit in a pool or depression and self-despare.
    What do guys do when they’re depressed? I eat a pint of Ben and Jerry’s and watch Legally Blonde.

    I hate myself.

    But no, guys ban together against this thing we call “feelings” and sometimes, though you don’t wanna go out, it’s really good to and about an hour into it (and at least 5 drinks) you’re feeling really, really good. So, call me man, you can lean on me.
    Granted, you’re about a foot and a half taller than me so you’d have to literally bend down and well, the entire experience seems a little gay now, so, call me, we’ll get drinks, go out and paint the town a shade of broke.

  3. Nicely worded, you should look into doing that as a profession……ok nevermind, keep in mind life is good and it’s only getting better, after a while of mental prep, it will actually be true (it takes some longer that others)….keep it moist brother…..

  4. This is where I would normally hurl a few good-natured insults at you, but considering the topic, I will go easy this time.

    I believe it was Kurt Vonnegut who once wrote:

    “Tell me what it takes to let you go.
    Tell me how the pain’s supposed to go.
    Tell me how it is that you can sleep in the night without thinking you lost everything that was good in your life to the toss of the di-i-i-i-ce…”

    Or maybe it was Emerson. Or Whitman. Or Clancy. I dunno, I don’t do books.

    Anyway, its important that you are focus on the positives here:

    1. If it had to end, its better that it ended now and not drag on for far too long. No marriage, no kids, etc. also makes it a little easier to part ways.

    2. You are young and there are still plenty of fish in the proverbial sea. Maybe now would be a good time to try and look up ol’ S.M.

    3. You have TONS of friends to support you.

    4. You are now free to have sex with any and every woman that flirts with you (and we all know there are several.)

    5. Its cheaper being single.

    Anyway, if you need to talk or just hang out, give me call.

  5. Your post touched me in a surprising way. Everything you said was all too true in this world that we live in today, and it’s weird, because I’ve always looked at you as my “Dr.Cox”. Or… the fortress that can’t be penetrated by ordinary human emotions. It sucks to hear that you are upset, but it is good to know that you are handling it in a mature, calm manner.

    P.S.- I miss you like the deserts miss the rain.

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