Welcome to heartache in the 21st century.
The Katie and I have broken up, and although we’re still trying to remain friends in real life, our cyber selves have said goodbye – we dropped each other as friends on myspace.com and facebook.com.
It hurt more than I thought it would.
Sure, some of it hurt because I have the emotions of a 12-year-old girl (though without the unreasonable obsession with dolphins). A bigger part, though, came from the severing of a crucial part of our relationship.
Before I knew The Katie, I knew of Katie, a friend-of-a-friend-type thing and a familiar face at Bee-Dubs and the Kentucky Theater. I saw her one summer evening at a friend’s rock show, and when I stumbled across her myspace profile, it all kind of came together.
Our communication, at first, was limited to a series of myspace messages, many of which have been saved. Some of my better writing came in those days as I attempted to win over her affections, and I was always thrilled with her sweet, thoughtful messages and responses.
Soon, we began the slow ascent up each other’s “Top Friends” list, and I won’t try to act cool by denying my excitement when I finally became perched atop the list.
And now, rather than begin the torturous descent back down, we just opted to drop each other entirely, thus, we hoped, avoiding the public drama that would come with it.
We just don’t want to put ourselves in the position of having to follow the other’s every move, particularly when the time comes that a Person of the Opposite Sex gets involved. It’s just too painful and, truth be told, too stalkerish.
(Tangent: I’m a little angry at Tom, founder of myspace. When I signed up, he was quick to be the first friend on my list, but where is now that I need him?)
It’s the end of an era – and incredibly fun era that could possibly inspire poems about dolphins – and one that many others find themselves facing, too. In this day of texting and instant messaging and blogging and all other means of up-to-the-second communication, it’s hard to find ways to separate yourself from an ex, at least in private.
Facebook, for example, almost seems to delight in providing constant updates on your personal situations, because nothing brightens a person’s day like seeing a friend has just become single.
Not just friends, either, in many cases, as your personal life can now be open to anyone with a computer and Internet connection. What should be private has now become anything but, making my heart feel as exposed as Paris Hilton in nightvision (geez, that joke is old. What’s next? Some “timely” remarks about the Hoover administration? Perhaps some jabs at the War of 1812?).
So, world, here I am, crying myspace to sleep at night and burying my tearstained facebook in my pillow. I’m sad but coping, doing so in the only way I know how – by writing about it on my blog.