When I was a teenager, I couldn’t wait to be older.
Unlike most typical teens, though, I had my sights set on a slightly more elderly age range — I couldn’t wait to be 75-85 years old.
My reasons were simple: I wanted to have an excuse to do anything that crossed my mind, only to see it excused with the simple explanation of, “Waddaya want from me? I’m an old man.”
I’d shout at kids at the mall (while wandering around it aimlessly, of course). I’d drive as much as possible, with the speedometer at obscenely low levels and the radio volume at obscenely high levels. I’d belch, fart, pick my nose and all other manners of socially unacceptable behavior. I’d say bad things about today’s entertainment, then rattle off boring, rambling stories about the shows from back in my day, like Heroes, Lost, The Sopranos, The West Wing and The Andy Griffith Show.
And when pressed for my actions, I’d just chalk it up to being old. If anyone continued pushing for further explanations, I’d say, “Huh? I can’t hear you, Sonny. Damn ears ain’t what they used to be.” Then I’d walk off, mumbling something about pudding.
But then I went here: www.faceofthefuture.org.uk.
Now, I know I’m not the best looking guy on the Internet, but still, it’s not like I’m a troll. This picture, though, gives me significant pause about not only my own current looks but also my future ability to not frighten children.
It could be worse, though. I could look like these other options:
Kevin as another old man.
Ape Man Kevin
Ape Man Kevin 2
East Asian Kevin
West Asian Kevin
El Greco Kevin
El Greco Kevin 2
Kevin Manga 2