Age ain’t nothing but a number (and a frightening picture)

When I was a teenager, I couldn’t wait to be older.

Unlike most typical teens, though, I had my sights set on a slightly more elderly age range — I couldn’t wait to be 75-85 years old.

My reasons were simple: I wanted to have an excuse to do anything that crossed my mind, only to see it excused with the simple explanation of, “Waddaya want from me? I’m an old man.”

I’d shout at kids at the mall (while wandering around it aimlessly, of course). I’d drive as much as possible, with the speedometer at obscenely low levels and the radio volume at obscenely high levels. I’d belch, fart, pick my nose and all other manners of socially unacceptable behavior. I’d say bad things about today’s entertainment, then rattle off boring, rambling stories about the shows from back in my day, like Heroes, Lost, The Sopranos, The West Wing and The Andy Griffith Show.

And when pressed for my actions, I’d just chalk it up to being old. If anyone continued pushing for further explanations, I’d say, “Huh? I can’t hear you, Sonny. Damn ears ain’t what they used to be.” Then I’d walk off, mumbling something about pudding.

But then I went here:

And then I saw this:
Old Kevin
Kevin as an old man.

Now, I know I’m not the best looking guy on the Internet, but still, it’s not like I’m a troll. This picture, though, gives me significant pause about not only my own current looks but also my future ability to not frighten children.

It could be worse, though. I could look like these other options:
Kevin Older 2
Kevin as another old man.
Ape Man Kevin
Ape Man Kevin 2
Baby Kevin

Afro-Caribbean Kevin
Botticelli Kevin
East Asian Kevin
West Asian Kevin
El Greco Kevin
El Greco Kevin 2
Modigliani Kevin
Kevin Manga
Kevin Manga 2


2 thoughts on “Age ain’t nothing but a number (and a frightening picture)

  1. You look like a college English professor who would wear one of those jackets with leather patches on the elbows. Or the dad from Family Ties.

  2. My future nightmares will surely include some of those images of your face. Baby Kevin and the Mangas are especially creepy to me.

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in: Logo

You are commenting using your account. Log Out /  Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )


Connecting to %s