My friend almost died from embarrassment

Two true stories, both to the same friend:

Last Sunday, my friend Jess and her daugther, Sydney (who is almost 4 years old), were at a grocery store. They ran into one of Syd’s daycare instructors, who happens to be a pretty obsese woman. Jess and the woman talked a bit, and before she left, the insructor said, “Sydney, you’re just as pretty outside of class as you are in it.”

As the woman walked away, Sydney responded with, “You have big legs.”

Jess nearly died, but because the woman didn’t stop walking, she hoped the comment hadn’t been heard.

Sydndey took NO chances.

“I said you have big legs,” she repeated in a louder voice.

Later in the week, Sydney took her comments to a new height.

Thursday, Jess and I were talking on the phone after Lost aired, when her daughter got out of bed and came into Jess’ room. she was being VERY loud.

“Mommy, my finger smells.”

We both started laughing, afraid of where this was going.

“Well, Sydney, WHY does your finger smell?”

Sydney got closer.

“Mommy, Mommy. my finger SMELLS … here, smell it.”

“What does it smell like, Sydney?”

“It smells like poop.”

“Sydney, did you put your finger in your butt?”

“No. I was picking toejam out of my toes, and i got toejam on it, and it smells.”

On an unrelated note, I’m now down to four teams in the MLB Logo Project.

I saw a guy wearing an old-school Milwaukee Brewers hat this past Sunday, leaving me with just Florida, Toronto, Kansas City and, shockingly, Cleveland.


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