Pop Culture Debates: An Intro and an Initial Topic

I guess it’s part of being a boy.

I have always been a fan of mindless arguments over mundane matters starting, most likely, in 1980 at the age of 4, not long after watching The Empire Strikes Back. Like every good male of my generation, I questioned who I’d rather be: Luke Skywalker or Han Solo. Both have their pros (light sabres and that whole Force thing for Luke, getting the girl and general bad-assedness for Han) and cons (losing a hand in a battle with your dad and getting frozen in carbonite), and I could never, at least at that age, come to a consensus.

I’m not sure if girls do this. Perhaps it’s because, at least during my childhood, they didn’t have a Luke/Han equivalent (really, who can get excited over the prospects of debating Strawberry Shortcake vs. Rainbow Brite?), but I would also argue the endless desire to have serious talks about nonsensical matters is as much a matter of being male as is the penis.

I still like these arguments, and I’d like to open some of them up to you, readers of So … There I Was, to let you weigh in on some of the randomness that makes up my mind. Every so often (or, most likely, whenever I can’t think of a decent blog topic and am too lazy to be creative) I’ll post a question, offer some brief thoughts, then turn it over to you for your comments/discussion. I’m hoping that this will spur some interesting blog conversations (blogversations?) between you as we set out to answer some of the not-so-burning questions in this world of pop culture.

So, boys and girls, here goes. Enjoy.

Whose lyrics are dirtier – Prince or AC/DC?
I’m not sure any two singer/bands are as interested in s-e-x as Prince and AC/DC as almost every song they’ve written involves putting Male Part A into Female Part B (and in some cases Part C and Part D).

Sorry, I can’t quite hear you … did you say you want to have the sex with me?

Let’s look at one of Prince’s prime examples, “Little Red Corvette.” It starts off with this: “I guess I shoulda known by the way u parked your car sideways that it wouldn’t last.” Now, look, I still don’t really know what all that means, but I do know this: it’s filthy.

Prince goes on to sing “Move over baby, gimme the keys/I’m gonna try 2 tame your little red love machine.”

OK, so Prince is singing about a lady’s lady part, and being rather clever about it.

Other times, though, he’s just outright explicit with his lyrics, like this from “Gett Off”: “Something about a little box with a mirror and a tongue inside/What she told me then got me so hot I knew that we could slide.” (Note: that song also includes one of the most random lyrics I’ve ever heard, and I’m not sure if it’s designed to make you hungry or horny: “Whatcha want 2 eat? ‘Ribs.’/Ha, toy, I don’t serve ribs.”)

Prince often just puts his intentions right out in front in the song titles, not really bothering with any innuendo: “Soft and Wet,” “Do It All Night,” “Do Me, Baby,” “Jack U Off,” “New Position,” “Come,” and “Orgasm.”

We are dirty — literally, metaphorically and grammatically.

As for AC/DC, they’re pretty exceptionally filthy, too. It took them to their third album before they failed to record a song expressly about testicles (“She’s Got Balls” from their debut and “Big Balls” on the follow-up album).

Much like Prince in (and, really, every man who has ever written a song), AC/DC has at least one song relating sexual intercourse with a lady to riding an automobile. Here’s this line from “You Shook Me All Night Long”:

She was a fast machine she kept her motor clean
She was the best damn woman that I ever seen
She had the sightless eyes telling me no lies
Knocking me out with those American thighs
Taking more than her share
Had me fighting for air
She told me to come but I was already there


And, like Prince, AC/DC often just expresses their explicit intent up front in their song titles: “Love at First Feel,” “Go Down,” “Up To My Neck in You,” “Beating Around the Bush,” “Givin’ the Dog a Bone,” “Let Me Put My Love Into You,” I Put the Finger On You” and “Sink the Pink.”

It’s a close call, as both are pretty dirty. Personally, I think they’re equally dirty, but Prince’s songs are just sexier. Maybe it’s just because I think Prince is singing about a higher class of woman. He’s banging the hot chick, while AC/DC is hooking up with her ugly friends.

What do you think?


15 thoughts on “Pop Culture Debates: An Intro and an Initial Topic

  1. Prince, hands down. I gotta give it to the guy that has based his entire career around creating music with his boner. Which I’m sure is interesting all in itself.


  2. This debate is over, I hereby crown AC/DC as the winners… I have the following reasons:

    1. AC/DC’s level of actual dirt. Prince strikes me as the kind of guy that spends hours cleaning himself up, applying all kinds of exotic scents and creams from across the world and having his purple sports car meticulously detailed before taking out a lady. AC/DC will show up at your door reeking of whiskey and stale cigarette smoke, throw you into a dirty Trans Am and take you out to their favorite bar where you can watch them drink with their friends.

    2. Mood and Romance. An evening with Prince is going to be filled with candles burning throughout the bedroom, even more exotic aromas and some Miles Davis in the background. If you’re going home with AC/DC, you’d better just be happy that they step on the rat before they fling you down on a soiled mattress on the floor.

    3. Quality of Women. Prince makes sweet (albeit kinky) love to a woman he met at an art show. AC/DC f*cks a whore that they picked up at a demolition derby.

  3. AC-DC is the strangely charming biker wearing a “Moustache Rides 25 Cents” T-shirt that 17 year old Beta Club vice presidents end up screwing in the back of a pick-up truck after a three keg field party.
    Prince is the sleazy playa who locks eyes with women from across the dance floor, then approaches them with a single red rose.

  4. Prince wins.

    The difference between Prince and AC/DC is the difference between merlot and Keystone Light. Both will do the trick, but merlot warms you up first. Merlot is a breathy whisper in your ear; Keystone is a spitty holler off the bed of a pickup. There is no walk of shame with merlot and there will also be no embarrassing phone calls to your friends asking what retarded thing (or person) you did last night. Merlot is singular and romantic whereas Keystone implies you’re being passed around to its friends. And even if merlot does bring along a few friends, you’ll probably share.

  5. The winner here is AC/DC. And enough already with these people who are suggesting Prince is some sort of breathy romantic — don’t you just get the feeling that Prince is one of those guys that would talk a girl into the back room, then smile at her, spin he around, and whip his dick out and shove it up her ass? AC/DC would be vey up front about the fact that is their gameplan.

  6. Also, wish I would’ve said this before, but you gotta go with Han.


    And he still shoots Greedo first in my mind, and always will.

  7. Who’s lyrically dirtier? Tell me the last time ac/dc sung a song about making your own sister wet all over? Thank God Prince (not godprince, but that would be applicable too) doesn’t really have a sister or he would lose just for shear fact that the song “sister” could have actually be based on true events….

  8. In the song “Let’s Pretend We’re Married (from the album 1999),” Prince uses the subtle innuendo of “I sincerely wanna fuck the taste out of your mouth.”

    Now, say what you will about AC/DC, but in the end they were the Aaron’s and Daylan’s of the world – ironically offering to “give the dog a bone” at the May Dance while the Ryan French’s and Micheal Bliss’s were fucking the taste out of the mouths of cheerleaders county-wide, the way Prince wanted.

    Class dismissed.

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  10. Nothing seems to be easier than seeing someone whom you can help but not helping.
    I suggest we start giving it a try. Give love to the ones that need it.
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