I guess it’s part of being a boy.
I have always been a fan of mindless arguments over mundane matters starting, most likely, in 1980 at the age of 4, not long after watching The Empire Strikes Back. Like every good male of my generation, I questioned who I’d rather be: Luke Skywalker or Han Solo. Both have their pros (light sabres and that whole Force thing for Luke, getting the girl and general bad-assedness for Han) and cons (losing a hand in a battle with your dad and getting frozen in carbonite), and I could never, at least at that age, come to a consensus.
I’m not sure if girls do this. Perhaps it’s because, at least during my childhood, they didn’t have a Luke/Han equivalent (really, who can get excited over the prospects of debating Strawberry Shortcake vs. Rainbow Brite?), but I would also argue the endless desire to have serious talks about nonsensical matters is as much a matter of being male as is the penis.
I still like these arguments, and I’d like to open some of them up to you, readers of So … There I Was, to let you weigh in on some of the randomness that makes up my mind. Every so often (or, most likely, whenever I can’t think of a decent blog topic and am too lazy to be creative) I’ll post a question, offer some brief thoughts, then turn it over to you for your comments/discussion. I’m hoping that this will spur some interesting blog conversations (blogversations?) between you as we set out to answer some of the not-so-burning questions in this world of pop culture.
So, boys and girls, here goes. Enjoy.
Whose lyrics are dirtier – Prince or AC/DC?
I’m not sure any two singer/bands are as interested in s-e-x as Prince and AC/DC as almost every song they’ve written involves putting Male Part A into Female Part B (and in some cases Part C and Part D).
Sorry, I can’t quite hear you … did you say you want to have the sex with me?
Let’s look at one of Prince’s prime examples, “Little Red Corvette.” It starts off with this: “I guess I shoulda known by the way u parked your car sideways that it wouldn’t last.” Now, look, I still don’t really know what all that means, but I do know this: it’s filthy.
Prince goes on to sing “Move over baby, gimme the keys/I’m gonna try 2 tame your little red love machine.”
OK, so Prince is singing about a lady’s lady part, and being rather clever about it.
Other times, though, he’s just outright explicit with his lyrics, like this from “Gett Off”: “Something about a little box with a mirror and a tongue inside/What she told me then got me so hot I knew that we could slide.” (Note: that song also includes one of the most random lyrics I’ve ever heard, and I’m not sure if it’s designed to make you hungry or horny: “Whatcha want 2 eat? ‘Ribs.’/Ha, toy, I don’t serve ribs.”)
Prince often just puts his intentions right out in front in the song titles, not really bothering with any innuendo: “Soft and Wet,” “Do It All Night,” “Do Me, Baby,” “Jack U Off,” “New Position,” “Come,” and “Orgasm.”
As for AC/DC, they’re pretty exceptionally filthy, too. It took them to their third album before they failed to record a song expressly about testicles (“She’s Got Balls” from their debut and “Big Balls” on the follow-up album).
Much like Prince in (and, really, every man who has ever written a song), AC/DC has at least one song relating sexual intercourse with a lady to riding an automobile. Here’s this line from “You Shook Me All Night Long”:
She was a fast machine she kept her motor clean
She was the best damn woman that I ever seen
She had the sightless eyes telling me no lies
Knocking me out with those American thighs
Taking more than her share
Had me fighting for air
She told me to come but I was already there
And, like Prince, AC/DC often just expresses their explicit intent up front in their song titles: “Love at First Feel,” “Go Down,” “Up To My Neck in You,” “Beating Around the Bush,” “Givin’ the Dog a Bone,” “Let Me Put My Love Into You,” I Put the Finger On You” and “Sink the Pink.”
It’s a close call, as both are pretty dirty. Personally, I think they’re equally dirty, but Prince’s songs are just sexier. Maybe it’s just because I think Prince is singing about a higher class of woman. He’s banging the hot chick, while AC/DC is hooking up with her ugly friends.
What do you think?