Season 2: Football picks, Week 2 (and Ohio State sucks … or is that THE Ohio State sucks THE dick?)

Before I start in on Week 2 of the NFL, I need to say something that is prompted by college football but really applies to all walks of life: I hate Ohio State.

I refuse to acknowledge it as THE Ohio State University as those self-righteous pricks like to do, because frankly, if you’re THE anything of Ohio, I don’t really give two farts. THE Ohio state? Who cares?

A few years ago, the Buckeyes cheated their way to a BCS championship, capping their return to national prominence. We’re all paying the price now, particularly the last two years when the team of assholes somehow found its way into the national title game only to get completely blown out, embarrassed and humiliated by superior SEC schools (Florida and LSU).

Earlier this summer, I was with a group of friends, one of whom made the unfortunate choice to actually attend Ohio State, and, as usual when the Buckeyes come up, we began to rail against them. In short, we determined they are the most overrated team every year, which then led to the hatching of a great money-making scheme. We thought up the design for this logo, with the idea of putting in T-shirts and selling them to Ohio State haters everywhere (and because this is such an enormous crowd, we envisioned the money rolling in in large piles).

This is the logo, painstakingly created by one Cory S. Graham:

And with that, USC will beat Ohio State without mercy on Saturday. Yes, the world will watch the Trojans roll over these pricks …

On to the pros …

I am apparently an idiot when it comes to picking NFL games. Need evidence? Check out my 7-9 mark from last week, which is not exactly a burning start to the season.

Let’s hope I do better this time:

Tennessee at Cincinnati
Green Bay at Detroit
Oakland at Kansas City
New York Giants at St. Louis
Indianapolis at Minnesota
New Orleans at Washington
Chicago at Carolina
Buffalo at Jacksonville
San Francisco at Seattle
Atlanta at Tampa Bay
Baltimore at Houston
New England at New York Jets
Miami at Arizona
San Diego at Denver
Pittsburgh at Cleveland
Philadelphia at Dallas

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5 thoughts on “Season 2: Football picks, Week 2 (and Ohio State sucks … or is that THE Ohio State sucks THE dick?)

  1. Wow, you’re blog is getting R rated these days.

    As for your picks, everything looks good except two things: the Colts and Buckeyes. They’ll both win.

    Yep, I’m officially going on record saying that “THE” Ohio State Buckeyes will go into Trojan-land and leave with a victory. It’ll be bittersweet, because I also hate Ohio State. But I hate USC more.

    Don’t count out Miami at Arizona either. The Dolphins are an improved team.

  2. HA!! You all totally fell for my Ohio State prediction! I was only joking. I knew the Trojans would blow them out. Boy, I sure fooled you guys.

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