The Searchers

I’m worried about my readers.

I’m more worried, though, about what kind of content on my blog is drawing them to So … There I Was.

I should probably include a note here that says something like: The following blog contains some adult language. Very adult language in some parts.

After an extended hiatus for a mission trip to Haiti, followed by an unwinding process that has seen my shake the cobwebs off the words in my brain, I’ve started back into the blogging world, this time, though, with far fewer readers than before. It seems that given America’s “now now now” culture, taking even a couple of weeks away from your website means it’s tough to get them to start coming back on a regular basis.

Be that as it may, this tree is still falling in the blog forest, even if know one is around to hear it or read it.

During this comeback (as far as comebacks ago, it’s definitely more New Kids on the Block 2009 than Elvis 1968), I took a look at the So … There I Was stats page, and learned of a few shocking developments. First, my site now has a new leader among the top posts of all time: A Man Without a Team, a closer look at my friend Shane’s failure to pick an NFL team to follow, has surpassed Delays in the System, a post that began innocently enough but soon turned rather ugly thanks to some defensive (and obsessive) Toby Keith fans.

For anyone interested, Lollapalooza 2007: What About Bob? , a look at the triumphant return of Beatle Bob, places third on the list proving that nothing is bigger than the Beatle.

The bigger issue to catch my attention, though, was the listing of popular search terms that brought people to So … There I Was. I figured it would be simple searches for things like my name or “greatest blog in the history of mankind, past, present and future,” but, of course, I was wrong.

Here are the top search terms for the past seven days (from highest to lowest), with any misspellings listed as they appear on my stat page: Brady Quinn, Chicago Bears, lezbos muffdiving, miami dolphins, manscaping + “skin irritaton” + chest (note: I’m truly impressed at the level of complexity of that one), bragy quin/clevelealand, lollapalooza weed, drugs lollapalooza blog, best postcard i ever received, tb buccaneers, lollapalooza drugs, oboe, synonym for cuntlicker, drugs at lollapalooza, miami dolphinas, covington wedding district.

I decided to look beyond a week, bringing up the search terms for the past 30 days. Again, listed in order are the top words/phrases from the past month: chicago bears, oboe, miami dolphins, brady quinn, lollapalooza drugs, Covington wedding district,, sex 666 tits ass fuck cum love true xxx, drugs at lollapalooza, cleveland browns, best postcard ever, parental advisory, lollapalooza weed, chicago bears suck, miami dolphins filetype:jpg, i hate you and your stupid ass face, old fashioned customer service, “rick paine” guam, ray bands, tight jeans penis, best postcard writing ever, powder blue chargers, wordpress kevin strother hall.

So, just to be clear, someone took the time to search for “” rather than just type into the address line to see if maybe, just maybe, my blog popped up. That somehow amuses me more than my name being less popular of a term than “tight jeans penis.”

Somehow, my blog, which has been known to have a few adult words but is definitely not pornographic to the point of “sex 666 tits ass fuck cum love true xxx” (well, other than the fact I’ve now typed it twice in three paragraphs), is becoming one of the lewdest blogs on the planet.

Truthfully, I’m both a little puzzled and a little pleased. I can explain away most of the terms (the bulk of the naughty bits come from a post that listed words that are banned from being printed on fan-ordered NFL jerseys). I am, however, completely amused by the thought of someone with a filthy mind searching for “oboe,” getting my site and being truly disappointed that it’s about the baffling invention of the instrument and not about it being inserted anywhere inappropriate.

For that, I suggest Cory’s site.

4 thoughts on “The Searchers

  1. I searched for the blog’s name. I wasn’t on my own computer at the time and couldn’t remember if that was right or not.

    As for “sex 666 tits ass fuck cum love true xxx”, I plead the fifth.

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