Electile dysfunction: No matter who wins, someone is always a loser

The election of 1984 should have been hotly contested, a real down-to-the-wire face-off between two evenly matched opponents duking it out over the top issues of the day.

It wasn’t.

It was ugly.

It was messy.

It was destined to scar the fragile psyche of the loser, who was so thoroughly trounced, he might never re-enter the world of politics.

Simply put, it was the greatest landslide victory (or the most lopsided defeat, depending on your vantage point) ever seen in American politics, the effects of which are still being felt to this day.

I, for one, have yet to fully recover.
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Paper afraid of Oklahomasexuals

My friend Daniel wrote a column for a daily newspaper in Oklahoma this week that has apparently ruffled some Sooner feathers. You can read it here: You love who you love, world.

Since it appeared in the paper, Daniel’s publisher has warned of angry readers and advertisers, neither of which are great things in the newspaper world. I applaud Daniel, though, for writing this piece and for taking a stand, even though he’s still VERY new at the job and put himself at a major risk.

So, I ask you to give your support and write to eddarling@duncanbanner.com and let him know that you stand firmly beside Daniel’s message. I, for one, want to let him know that since his panties are already in a wad, it’s a good thing he apparently has no balls.

Dear Powell County: Congratulations, and thank you!

Listening to WSKV for the latest Election Night results.

One week ago today (almost this exact instant), Powell County voters gave an overwhelming message: we believe in James Anderson as the best leader for our future.

I couldn’t agree more (see this post for details).
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Dear Powell County: James Anderson is the best choice for judge-executive

I’m using my blog today to share a guest column my cousin Chris Nolan submitted to the Clay City Times in support of James Anderson for Powell County judge-executive. I’m asking my Powell County friends to take a few minutes to read (or perhaps re-read) what Chris has to say, then help share the message by posting the link on your own Facebook page, blog, Twitter account, skywriting message or whatever form of social media you have available.

I’ve known James since the mid-1980s and really got the chance to bond with him as we both sat on the end of the bench for the Powell County freshman and junior varsity basketball teams when we were freshmen and sophomores. At that time, much of our talks focused on one of three things: 1. how much we hated sitting on the bench; 2. which cheerleaders were the prettiest; 3. which schools’ locker rooms were the best.
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The 2011 Presidential Fantasy Team

Since the NFL is set to kickoff roughly an hour after President Obama starts his long-awaited “jobs” speech to America, I thought it would be appropriate to combine two of my favorite things into one mashed-up blog. So, I give you this:

The 2011 Presidential Fantasy Team

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2012 Republican presidential field: Less than meets the eye

Ronald Regan’s historic landslide victory in the 1984 election might not fully be in jeopardy, but unless the 2012 Republican field shapes up soon, that 49-states-to-1 sweep could be challenged.

Ultimately, President Barack Obama has a few hurdles to overcome — particularly this country’s economic crisis and the future of health care – but people seem less interested in talking about the big issues and prefer to focus on things of the past – namely the fact that he’s black (half true) and Kenyan (not true).
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Intellectual apathy is kryptonite for ‘Waiting for Superman’

We seem to be living in a society of ignoramuses (not to be confused with ignorant anuses, although they all seem to be one and the same under perhaps a better heading: dumbasses).

A major backlash against any sort of intellectualism is well under way, and while I’m not necessarily the smartest bear in the den, I’m also not the dumbest. I can go highbrow or lowbrow, and conversations can veer from fantasy football numbers to relationships to politics to religion before eventually ending back up at fantasy football (which, let’s face it, is really the most interesting thing on the planet).

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The world thinks Michael Vick is a scary black man

Michael Vick is the single worst person to have ever lived, somehow combining all the negative qualities of all the evil people in all the world of all time.

Some people will no doubt agree with that sentence, while others will grasp the concept of sarcasm. In the past few days, the media has been buzzing more and more about Vick and how he’s a monster for his crimes against humanity and, I guess, caninity.
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Eat it, George Orwell; or Why 1984 was the Greatest Year Ever

When it comes to 1984, I’m less Orwellian than I am David Lee Rothian.

While George preached about the horrors of Big Brother, Diamond Dave sang hosannas in honor of the time-honored tradition of s-e-x. At least I’m pretty sure that’s what he meant when, following Eddie Van Halen’s blistering solo, he said he would “reach down between my legs n’ ease the seat back.” I could be wrong, though; perhaps the car lacked ample leg space for a comfortable ride. Dammit, that sounds dirty, too. Thanks a lot, David Lee Roth.
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