Eat it, George Orwell; or Why 1984 was the Greatest Year Ever

When it comes to 1984, I’m less Orwellian than I am David Lee Rothian.

While George preached about the horrors of Big Brother, Diamond Dave sang hosannas in honor of the time-honored tradition of s-e-x. At least I’m pretty sure that’s what he meant when, following Eddie Van Halen’s blistering solo, he said he would “reach down between my legs n’ ease the seat back.” I could be wrong, though; perhaps the car lacked ample leg space for a comfortable ride. Dammit, that sounds dirty, too. Thanks a lot, David Lee Roth.

A Michael Jackson tribute we can all get behind

To be clear, the tribute referenced in the title is most certainly not my tribute. More on that later. But first …

Other than a few initial comments (OK, jokes) following Michael Jackson’s death last week, I’ve remained quiet on the subject, at least publicly. I didn’t know Michael Jackson, so I don’t think I have any real right to overly mourn his death or spend hundreds of words remembering his impact on the world.