A salute to my graduating nephew

Matthew Brooks was not a pretty newborn.

unnamedOh, come on — we all know it, are all probably thinking about it right now and agreeing with the statement. This came as quite a bit of a surprise. His parents are both nice-looking people, and he obviously shares some DNA with non-trolls (again, obviously), so when he arrived looking like someone had crossed an alien monkey with a prune, well, we didn’t know what to think (other than perhaps a mix-up in the nursery). It’s OK because he turned into an adorable baby, but those first few weeks were touch-and-go looks wise.
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Ranking the Most Godforsaken Teams in the NFL

More than any other professional sports league, the NFL has the most success with parity, with playoff teams switching out year after year and at least one “worst to first” story every season. Despite this, though, it definitely seems some franchises are better at, well, everything than others.

This could be due to many factors: front-office know-how, solid coaching, All-Pro players. Or, more likely, it could just be which teams have pleased the Football Gods.

So, Cory Graham and I give this list to you:

The Most Godforsaken Franchises in the NFL
32. New England Patriots
Kevin: Historically, they’ve not been overly blessed, but this decade-plus string of dominance is beyond impressive. They’ve basically become the Yankees and Lakers of the NFL, and that sound you heard was Bill Simmons dying a little.
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2012 fantasy football draft reaches new heights of nerdiness/awesomeness

Our fantasy football league, The Skullz, held its annual draft (which this year doubled as a “hey, let’s celebrate Cory’s baby while we’re at it” celebration) this past Saturday. As usual, the day featured a feast on pizza and chicken wings, but our new commissioner added a few new wrinkles. Tom Farmer dressed the part, complete with a sport coat and tie, and shook hands with each owner in the first round, providing them with a personalized team “T-shirt” while posing for pictures.

It was totally nerdy and totally amazing.
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The 2011 Presidential Fantasy Team

Since the NFL is set to kickoff roughly an hour after President Obama starts his long-awaited “jobs” speech to America, I thought it would be appropriate to combine two of my favorite things into one mashed-up blog. So, I give you this:

The 2011 Presidential Fantasy Team

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What the Cats dragged in

(Note: This article originally appeared in the Dec. 29 edition of Georgetown News-Graphic.)

NASHVILLE — The road from Lexington to Nashville?

A mere hop, skip and jump.

Clemson, S.C., to Nashville?

He scoffs at the trip.

No, University of Kentucky fan Matt Durham had a bit more of a roundabout route in reaching Sunday night’s Music City Bowl matchup between the Clemson Tigers and the Wildcats.

Try crossing an ocean, two countries, at least three states, more than 10 time zones, about 18 hours and 6,700-plus miles.

Big Blue Nation has gone international.
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The UKrain

Today, for the first time in 21 years, I’ll be attending a University of Kentucky football game.

To put this in perspective, the last time I saw UK play in person, Florida’s star quarterback Tim Tebow was just a year old. (Speaking of Tebow, reports are now showing he’s suffering from the flu today, which gives UK more of a chance to win, but I’m guessing the QB will just add this to his list of head-shaking accomplishments, leading his team to a tough win while disgustingly sick).

I saw UK play Central Michigan on Sept. 3, 1988, on a trip with the Powell County Middle School football team. It was our first year of existence, and I knew very little about football. All I recall about that UK game was the rain. And more rain. And even more rain.

The skies opened and flooded Commonwealth Stadium, leaving us soaked but happy. Beyond that, I can’t remember a thing.

Today, though is different, but mainly only in that Kentucky is actually a good team now. The rain, of course, is returning, making it a perfect circle for my return to Commonwealth. Forecasts are calling for rain all day, and even though it’s supposed to end by game time, I’m not counting on it. I’ll have a poncho. I’ll have my hand-sanitizer (can’t let those pesky flu germs get to me).

But most of all, I’ll have fun.